Climbing Horoscopes!?!?!

Here is mine! whoa. Click here to read yours. scroll down a bit.

*Virgo

Prim and proper and innocent as a rattlesnake. Tidy and organized, quit
making off with gear you think has been discarded. Not everyone is as neat
as you are. You are the perfect multipitch partner! Organization is your
forte and your gear is never neglected. Your virginity is doomed, my dear,
no matter what you do, there is a lusty Scorpio out there waiting for you.
Bat those eyelashes and enjoy a ride in the Duelfersitz.